you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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