i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I DEMAND FORESKIN
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
