She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
