I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
