hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Randomize
