My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
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