THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
Randomize
