Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
two words...techno handjob
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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