Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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