Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Randomize
