you would pick up someone in the library
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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