I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
he was CRYING into my vagina
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
