Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
Banned from zoo.
Again?
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
