Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
wow bdsm is so cute
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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