Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
