Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
