I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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