I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
P.S. I can't hear my feet
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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