Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Randomize
