i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Randomize
