Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
