her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
