Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
Buhtt sex?
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Randomize
