waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
