Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Randomize
