my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
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