I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
