someone get that fucking seahorse.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
