whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
Randomize
