it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
she told me i tasted like america
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
