chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
