Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
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