you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
Randomize
