So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
