So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
