i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
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