Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
Randomize
