I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
My vagina just recognized that song.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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