The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
