Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
