I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
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