It's Friday. Sex?
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
how does that bad decision feel?
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
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