windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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