trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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