I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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