but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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