Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Randomize
