its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Randomize
