This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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