and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Randomize
