another moral hangover. fuck.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
my nose is crying tears of wow.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
