So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
